Comfort In Unknowing

Many people lately seem to be asking me about my plans for the near future, my mom, friends, and new people I’ve met in casual social conversation. To all of which I respond cheerfully lately, “I have no idea,” with a big smile.

The conversation leads to more discussion, to which I get interesting observations. Shortly, the consensus of those I’ve spoken to about this seems to all hold the same opinion, that my response seems very stressful to them if they were in the same position. So when I make that comment, the listener tends to immediately think, “If I had just said that myself, and that was my current life situation, that would make me feel stressed.”

This suggests that the majority of people are not comfortable not knowing. However, it seems for most people, what gives them comfort and peace of mind is having specific plans for their short-term future tomorrow, the weekend, next week, next month, etc.

For me, it’s the opposite. I hold comfort in not knowing what's next. I am very much a day-to-day human, quite intentionally. Moment to moment is even better, now to the next now. I like to think of my life as a flowing river, and I am the water passing through it. Of course, there will be those who bring up goals and future planning like booking flights, etc., but even for those things, I prefer to make decisions as close to each moment as possible when possible. As an example, for a goal, let's say. I would ask myself, what is one thing I would like to do better tomorrow than I did today? Small changes in habits to me lead to significant results.

The main contributing factor to who I have become is my studies in Taoism and other ideas in spirituality from various books and teachers around the world. There seems to be one overarching theme that resonates with me very deeply. All we have is now, this exact moment. To be anywhere else, such as past or future, would be to miss the present. It is always moving. It is always with you. I personally have little use for thinking about the past. However, I see value in intentionally setting aside time to think about the future as it pertains to where you would like to go and who you would like to become in life. The key for me is intentionally setting aside time once per week, once per month, etc. In my perfect reality, I would love to live the rest of my life never having to ‘think’ about anything ever again. If I had the option to continuously reside in a state of ‘being’ rather than ‘thinking,’ I would choose that every time.

When someone asks me what my specific plans are for any given time, they ask me to move from a state of being into a state of thinking and planning. Choosing life from moment to moment is more aligned with the state of being, which is fundamental to how I choose to live. A state that brings me the most joy, tranquility, and peace.